Bitchin and Moanin in Memphis

As I am quite sure everybody knows Isaac Hayes died the other day. And we all know he will be missed. I spent my youth listening to him on the radio and will never forget the first time I heard Shaft.  At the Southwest Twin, a drive in movie, me and a couple of illegal beers and Betty Sue sitting by my side.

Well,  this Monday there will be a tribute to him at Hope Presbyterian Church, 8500 Walnut Grove, Memphis Tennessee. The service will be at 11 am and everybody is invited.

But be aware there may be some  protesting surrounding the event.. You see Isaac was a Scientologist.. And since Memphis is the buckle of the bible belt the Christians around here are in an uproar that the Presbyterians would allow the church to be used as a launch pad. You cant shoot off no alien in a House of God.
 
Hoping to head off possible unrest, a spokesperson for the Hayes family says this is a tribute and not a memorial so no space ship will be parked out front ready to blast off into outer space. So there will be no fireworks.

But no matter the Christians around here never miss an opportunity to bitch about something. That seems to take up alot of their time. Evidence being the over hundred or something now comments at the Commercial Appeal website most of them moaning and groaning about letting an alien have any kind of service in a church.

 I found this one very interesting:

Scientology is an absurd faith, but its not any more far fetched than Christianity. L. Ron’s idea’s were pretty nuttso, but no crazier than talking snakes, imaginary friends who live in the sky, pregnant virgins, or people turning into pillars of salt. The worst thing about religion is that it uses fear and guilt into making us live the kind of life we should all want to live anyway.
Let Chef have his service. Stick him in the ground or shoot him to the moon, but let him have the service in peace. We have bigger problems to worry about in Memphis.

This was posted by Parkviewdem, a highly enlightened individual. Mostly because I agree with him. 

Actually Mr. Hayes may be bringing us together. Maybe this is the start of something really big a dialog between Christian and alien. Those Presbyterians. Leave it to them to offer the olive branch.

But it's hard to to change old habits, rethink old phobias and bias. Will it happen this time?

Brando Pines

Blind Date

City Locks Fast Food Out Of South Central

The Los Angeles City Council has banned fast food in South Central LA. Their reasoning: too many fat children. So I guess Jack-in the Box is making children fat. They are emitting the aroma of fried meat and French Frys and fat kids are drawn to  to the smell like the Pied Piper. Bullshit.  It is so easy for a parent to shuttle the kids to a Happy Meal than cook at home. Is this a sign of laziness? Of course. Fat parents make fat children. So now government has to step in. Today fat children or tomorrow's heart attacks or a burden on health care and my insurance premiums.

But the city council can't legislate morality and this is morality big time.  Parent need to be parents. It hurts my feeling to see a ten year weight more than me and I'm close to getting my  Medicare card. I think big screen TVs and video games are the biggest problem. And it ain't the kids with there hands on their remote control or Gameboy. That's why Johnnie is sitting in the corner with a happy meal. Daddy is glued to John Madden 2008.

So that why the city  council must weigh in on the problem.  We are talking about the majority rule. We all pay for a small group of people who are lazy and don't really give a damn if their kid is healthy.

Actually I'm for less government but this epidemic need to be addressed. I'm thinking if anything needs to be banned in Los Angles it's facelifts. Lord knows the unsettling image of a 70 year old trying to look like he or she is 26 plays into detrimental stereotypes that glorify youth and oppress those who are insecure with their self-image. Like fat kids in South Central LA.

That's the way I see it,

Brando Pines

I Love Bill Clinton

I miss Bill Clinton. Life was so much more enjoyable when he was around. Obviously, a lot of other people agree with me. He made over ten million dollars last year giving speeches all over the world. And why not he's a likable guy. I'd like to have him over for dinner. Maybe go out and hunt for women afterwards. He's a babe magnet you know.

The world seemed to be in a better mood when he was playing point guard for the Red, White and Blue. We had more money in our pockets, people had jobs and life was a dunk shot. I know people will tell me he lied to us and had sexual relations with someone who wasn't his wife but take a look at Hillary's hips and ankles. She's got big ankles.

Almost all of the heads of state dig the cat except those folks in the Middle East but they don't like anybody. Hell, they can't get along with themselves. But if you recall a lot less Arabs were getting blown away when he was leader of the free world. He knew when to leave well enough alone. I 'm willing to bet twenty bucks if you put Bill in the room with all the heads of state on the world map, a couple of cases of single malt scotch, some Cuban cigars and a handful of expensive hookers he could get us past this oil crises, and all the other problems plaguing Mother Earth.  I bet he'd do it for free if he got the best -looking babe.

Remember he's in big demand these day.

I know there are a lot of you out there bound not to agree with me and that's all right I forgive ya'll. But look who took his place and the crackerjack job he's doing.

And look what we have to look forward to.

Maybe we can change the Constitution real quick and let my man, Bill, run again. Lets see a show of hands.

That's the way I see it,
Brando Pines

The House Of Representivtives Says It's Sorry

One half of Congress says it's sorry for slavery. I'm so glad. With everything these guys have on their plate to take time to pass a resolution that has no value what so ever is such a treat for me.  Perhaps now with an apology, gas prices will drop, the wars will end and the Arabs/Persians will apologize to the Jews. Once there is an apology there will be no more babies born out of wedlock. Prison doors can fly open, as criminals will have no need to be angry. Welfare will end as we "get off the porch" and feel a need to get a job.

And to all of you who spent all those years in slavery this resolution  should make you feel warm and fuzzy inside...if you're still alive.

Seriously everybody knows slavery was wrong. We don't need an apology from Congress. What we need from these folks who represent us is to quit avoiding the job they were sent to do.

Gosh, maybe Eddie Barnes will read this and apologize for the beating he gave back in the third grade.

That's the way i see it,

Brando Pines